Be you

http://www.ted.com/talks/caroline_casey_looking_past_limits

Hey there,

I haven't been writing for a while. The truth is, I was scared. I was afraid that what I wrote, wouldn't be of value to you, my reader. I was worried that what I wrote was just an expression of the small me trying to teach people what they already knew. I wanted what I wrote for you to empower you, to inspire you, to motivate you. I wanted it to be a one-step solution to your many challenges. I wanted this blog to be perfect. 

Most of all, I wanted to be perfect. This past month has been a tremendous struggle for me. I realized how much I wanted to be perfect. All my life, I was afraid to appear weak, afraid to appear less smart than I was, less together than I should be. On the outside, I tried to be always a thumbs-up, everything's-great, I've-got-it-together girl. When things went wrong, I used to think (more often than not), 'what's wrong with these people?? What's wrong with me??'. I tried to control everything else outside of myself. But the truth is, I was hiding from myself. I was running away from who I am, not being able to face my life or imperfections for what they are out of fear of not being accepted. But you know what? The worst thing is, it didn't matter if my friends, family and colleagues, even strangers, loved me. I couldn't accept myself or love myself for who I was, much less receive their love and acceptance. The irony is that what I have written on this blog for the past year, did come from the bottom of my heart, from my understanding of what it means to live a happy life. Though sometimes it's easy to give advice but hard to heed your own!

But, you know, the Universe never gives you a lesson without teaching you how to overcome it. Sometimes, the lessons are glaringly obvious, staring at you in your face. Other times, they are hidden in tiny experiences, sometimes challenges, sometimes victories, waiting for you to assimilate them when you are finally ready. And I think I am finally ready. I am ready to really learn to be me. I am ready to put what I have learnt into true practice. I am ready to learn and accept who Rosanna really is. I am ready to discover what Rosanna really wants, really likes, how she really wants to live her life for what purpose she wants to bring to this amazing world. And for that, I am truly grateful. I am grateful to my friends (K, J, D, F, S, K, etc.) and various mentors (Katarina Phang, Christine Arylo, Kathleen Mulligan, Creig Crippen, Gina Devee, Brendon Burchard and all the inspiration videos and articles I have come across) for all the guidance that I have received on this journey, as well as everything else there will be to come. 

There will be no more following 'rules', no more imitation, no more trying to be someone else. For the Universe made all of us for a reason -- to be simply us and nothing less than we are. 

So, here's a promise. If you are facing the same challenge as I am and are ready to make a change, let us promise to be true to ourselves, no matter how hard the journey may seem. Life's too short to be someone else when you were made to be unapologetically, fabulously, beautifully YOU. And the best thing is, you won't be doing this alone, because I'll be walking next to you the entire way. <3 Have a good rest of the week, my friend =) 

xoxo
Rosanna

Stories

What kind of stories do you harbor about your life, your world, and yourself?

Are they real? Are they one-sided? Are they all-encompassing? Are they loving? Would you re-tell those stories in a different way? How would you change them?

This TED talk by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie may inspire you to rethink the kind of stories you tell about your world.

Have a good weekend, love! =)

http://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story/transcript?language=en

Be who you want to be

http://www.ted.com/talks/laura_boushnak_for_these_women_reading_is_a_daring_act/transcript?language=en

If they can, why can't you?

" ... Yasmine wrote, "Question your convictions. Be who you to want to be, not who they want you to be. Don't accept their enslavement, for your mother birthed you free." "

Can you do something fast mindfully?

Can you do something fast mindfully? The Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh answers this question.

From my own experience, as the master describes, one has to learn to be mindful by acting slowly and deliberately first. We are often conditioned to be lost in our head or oblivious to everything else when we act quickly. However, once we gain the habit to be mindful, one can also then remember to be mindful in any task, whether it is executed slowly or quickly. As the saying goes, "More speed, less haste", when we learn to act with intention and attention, the amount of mindfulness in the action will not be influenced by the speed of execution. One can be aware at all times. Can you then imagine the power behind that action?

https://youtu.be/SnnQVpiVm3A

You are light, and you matter so much

I am sharing two links to Christine Arylo's 'Divine Spark for Your Heart' 's of this month, and from my heart to yours.

When you are challenged, please remember that you are made of love and light. The light you are seeking lies within. You have the strength to rise above it all. Behind every challenge is love pushing you to become an even better version of you, behind every fear is love disguised as protection gone awry. Believe. Don't give up on yourself.

http://christinearylo.com/2015/04/light/

When you feel small, like you don't belong, feel inadequate or like an imposter, please remember to acknowledge how far you have come so far! You matter so much to the world. Even if you touched just one heart in this lifetime, you have made a difference. (p.s. you already touched mine. For that, I am sending much more love to you, my friend)

http://christinearylo.com/2015/03/making-a-difference/

Sarah Kay, performing poet

I came across Sarah Kay a year ago, when I watched her TED talk, "If I should have a daughter..", and really identified with her words. She spoke to me in a visceral way, like a friend I had never known. This evening, I chanced upon her other TED talk, "How many lives can you live?". Again, her words, though short, touched me on such a deep level. I felt like she had helped put some of my thoughts into words (like in that song, "Killing me softly"?).
Well, just sharing. I hope you like her poems too. Do click on the hyperlinks if you are interested.
Happy Monday, everyone =)

A life lesson, in a baby's illness

This touched me very deeply. I am not going to taint the underlying message with my words (for I cannot; it is beyond words), but simply let you experience it in your own way.

https://www.ted.com/talks/roberto_d_angelo_francesca_fedeli_in_our_baby_s_illness_a_life_lesson

The art of stillness

It is the start of the holiday season, and many of us are rushing around, trying to get the last bits of shopping and partying done, squeezing in as many activities and work as we can before making our resolutions for the 'new year'. Some of us may feel overwhelmed, feeling like we are running around like a headless chicken, with an endless to-do list but not really figuring out deep inside what it's all for. Maybe you feel like this throughout the year. Here, at the start of December, I invite you to take a step back, and take some moments for yourself to sit in stillness, take a few deep breaths and dedicate some time (it doesn't have to be long, 5-15 minutes will do) to just be with yourself. Turn off the alerts on your phone, close the laptop, and just turn your attention inward to your breathing, to your inner thoughts. Turn off the distractions from the outside world. Tune in to what your body is telling you, try to listen to what you really want for yourself, in this year, in this life. Not what you think society, your friends, your family, your colleagues, or anything or anyone else wants from you. What do YOU want? What makes YOU truly happy? When you make some time for yourself, instead of being pulled in all directions all the time, you gain clarity in what you're really looking for, what you're really living for. =) Also take the time to review and reflect on your journey. You have come farther than you think. Pat yourself on the back for the constant growth! Embrace the lessons, enjoy the memories, release what does not serve you any longer. Remember the big picture. You may realize that you have more time than you think. Or that you have more resources, more sources of love than you think.

So why not give it a try? This act of self-love is free, does not require too much time, yet is immensely rewarding (p.s. potentially addictive =p ).

What are you grateful for today?

I am so happy I found this while wondering how I can write about being grateful =)

On this Thanksgiving, what are you grateful for?

For me, I am grateful for everyone I have met in this life, my family, my friends, strangers who stop to smile and chat, people who challenge me to grow and improve. I am grateful for all this life has given me, and all that it will continue to give me. I am grateful for all the love that comes to me, from all places, some unexpected yet beautiful. I am grateful to the Universe for gifting me a comfortable life, while not letting me become complacent by placing timely challenges along the way, enough to push me yet never too difficult that I cannot overcome. 

Finally, I am grateful for you who are reading this. Through these words, we were momentarily connected for a brief moment in time. And that, in itself, to me, is beautiful. =)

Much love to you, whoever and wherever you are.

Happy Thanksgiving =)

Would this change how you live your life?

Often we rush around day to day, stressed out, worried, waiting for something 'better' to happen. What would you do, if you knew you could die in a day, an hour, a moment?

Would this very thought change how you live your life?

Would it make you live more lovingly, more bravely, more positively? Would it help you stop and look up at the sky, look around yourself, and admire the beautiful world you live in? Would it make you tell everyone you love, 'I love you and I cherish you'? Would it help you let the little 'negative' things go, knowing that at the end of the day, those things don't really matter at all, compared to love? Love for yourself, love for others, love for the world? Would it make you finally stop saying, 'When 'this' happens, then I will finally be happy'? When really, happiness and love are not things to chase after, but simply a choice and state of being.
What would you do?

Louie Schwartzberg: Nature. Beauty. Gratitude

Sometimes we just got to take a step back from our modern-day life, and remember that nature is all around us, remember what life is, and remember what we're really living for.

Beauty is everywhere if you open your eyes to it

Beauty is everywhere if you open your eyes to it =)

From Tiny Buddha:

Soul Pancake handed out a bunch of frames to people on the street and asked them to find beauty in the world around them. As one very wise participant shared, “I think that if we took some time, if we looked up, we looked down, we looked at each other, we would find that there is beauty everywhere around us.”

Never too young to make a difference

This little girl is Emily James. Emily wanted to do something for other children who have cancer, and decided to donate her locks, so that they will not "be sad that they have no hair".

An inspiring story, that goes to show that one is never too young to want to make a difference. One does not need to have gone through life to have compassion and love for others. How about you?

Thank you to The Breast Cancer Site blog for sharing this story.

Ben Dunlap, on passionate living and lifelong learning

Ben Dunlap, president of Wofford College, speaks of passionate living and lifelong learning. A good story of standing up for your beliefs, no matter what. 

https://www.ted.com/talks/ben_dunlap_talks_about_a_passionate_life/transcript

Tim's Place

This is so heart-warming and inspiring. We need more Tim's Place's in our world =). 

Here's a description of Tim's Place from Tinybuddha where I found this video:

"This is so many levels of beautiful and inspiring! Tim Harris has Down Syndrome, but that didn’t stop him from opening his own restaurant, Tim’s Place, which serves breakfast, lunch, and hugs.

Everyone who enters his Albuquerque establishment gets a big serving of his joy and love before they even take a look at the menu. Though the food may be delicious, I have a feeling this is what keeps them coming back: Tim’ infectious passion, gratitude, and kindness."

Find out more about Tim's Place here: http://timsplaceabq.com/

"I won't let my disability stop me... we are a gift to the world." Love him.

A conversation with Chade-Meng Tan

A conversation by Stanford University's Charter for Compassion with Chade-Meng Tan, Google's 107th employee and "Jolly Good Fellow", on compassion and achieving happiness and joy in your life. He and Dr. James Doty discussed many things that I agree with and practise too, thereby providing another example in that true happiness is attainable (with firm intention and practice). =)

Just a taster (quoting some of his words from the first 15 min):

The 3 components of meditative practice that leads to bliss/joy*:

1. Calmness, serenity, concentration. The ability to calm the mind of the mind**.
2. Insight. Use the calmness of the mind to gain insight through reflection on the self.
3. Nourishment of the heart -- kindness, compassion, appreciative joy, equanimity.

*though I use these words as a way of conveying a feeling of happiness, do note that this is a form of ultimate 'good feeling' that is independent of circumstances. It is hard to explain with words (language is limiting); one will have to experience it personally to understand this. 
**not a typo. A calm mind prevents turbulent thoughts/emotions from resulting.

Nothing is permanent, let a new chapter begin!

A song written in 2010 to commemorate the end of the space shuttle program, sung by one of my favorite singers Hacken Lee. But the key message emphasizes the impermanence of all things (however wonderful they may be), and to be accepting of whatever happens. So many layers of meaning, truly. I love this song.

English translation for non-Cantonese speakers:

(In 1972, the first space shuttle Columbia rose to the sky) 
It rose its head to the sky, waiting for the count-down
Children prayed next to the news broadcast
With the journey to the sky, it carried the dreams of millions
The symbol that we could rise above the sky,
It will now be retired into its grave on the ground
One generation of man, 
In the blink of an eye,
We've all become old.

You, completed your mission and made your mark
Now you will pass the days slowly, taking walks with your beloved children
The pride you had in crossing the skies
Is now spent on coping with life's count-downs
You, don't be angry that with age we deteriorate with time
Bringing up the anger from the past in a self-abusing way
The new age is still awaiting for your contribution
So leave behind your uniform and the space rocket,
The next journey is here~!

(In 1986, the Challenger destructed in its ascent)
He, just like the destroyed Challenger
Completed his mission in history and alighted from the train (of life)
But his blood and sweat, showed the way for millions of new Challengers
He, shed his shadow in the setting sun
Left in his legacy the passion that will continue into eternity
Flying away, 
Into the sky,
That bravery of the explorer~!

You, completed your mission and left your mark
Now you will pass the days slowly, taking walks with your beloved children
The pride you had in crossing the skies
Is now spent on coping with life's count-downs
You, don't be angry that with age we deteriorate with time
Bringing up with regret that you would like to stroll in space again
The new age is awaiting for your contribution
So leave behind your uniform and the space rocket,
The next journey is here~!

Doing what you can is already good enough,
Let a new chapter begin~!

Nothing is too small to make a difference (Part 2)

Touches my heart, every time. If everyone does good without asking for returns, wouldn't the world be a much better place?

Why child-like wonder can be good for you

This talk did not only open my eyes to how babies think (which is actually really fascinating), but also supports why having an open mind and child-like wonder is good for learning! Indirectly I think it also helps to explain us why being present in the moment, not being distracted by focused thoughts (your thought bubble above your head), helps you experience the world better.

http://www.ted.com/talks/alison_gopnik_what_do_babies_think/transcript

Anyone can change the world

Do you think that you're just one person, you can't make a difference? Do you think that only the privileged and rich can make a difference? Think again.

Below is an example of how anyone, no matter which walk of life they origin from, can change the lives of many. All it takes is a good, well-intentioned idea, determination, and hard work. And watch it snowball into something big.

http://www.ted.com/talks/ron_finley_a_guerilla_gardener_in_south_central_la/transcript

So why not you? =)