Monday, 23 February 2015


I used to think that successful people never failed, strong people were never weak, beautiful people never had their ugly moments. It was a very warped view of perfection. But then I eventually learnt that successful people are so because they learnt from their failures, strong people learnt to grow stronger from their moments of weakness, beautiful people have their not-so-beautiful moments but believe in themselves anyway, happy people also have sad moments, teachers were once, and still are, students, and the broken-hearted can learn to love again. We are all only human. We will always encounter the plethora of human experiences and emotions. And the difference between the successful, strong, beautiful, knowledgeable, and loving people and those who are not is that the former never gave up. When they encounter life situations that may cripple some, they refused to wallow in blame, guilt, or self-pity. They believed in themselves, and the goodness that comes from love. They dusted themselves off, faced reality, faced the challenge, and willed themselves to rise above it. We may never be perfect, but we can be perfectly imperfect, embrace our human-ness, and love every moment, trusting that every experience makes us stronger, better, more loving, more beautiful. Such is the beauty of life.  ^_^ Let us love every moment of it -- the good, the bad, the beautiful, the less-than-beautiful. =)

Sunday, 22 February 2015

Turning negative situations into positive ones

More on positivity and forgiveness!

"If all that happens from it is that you become more kind, caring, compassionate to other people that’s a positive thing, hold onto that. Accept it as a meaningful event, don’t sugarcoat it. Say, “look this happened, it was negative but I’ll turn it into a positive someday, as soon as I can.” Realize that you have that power of choice, that power of decision to react to the situation as a fearful, negative, upset, bitter, hurt person or, even if you experience those things, you also have that choice to start transforming that energy, those emotions into a new positive reality, a new positive emotional state for yourself, eventually."
~Brendon Burchard

"Forgiving doesn't imply that what someone did to you is okay, it simply means that you're not going to let what they did ruin your happiness."
~Timber Hawkeye

Saturday, 21 February 2015

On respect and deserving

Sometimes I hear or read about how one should not tolerate 'disrespectful behavior', and to only have relationships (any kind -- personal, professional, romantic) with people who 'respect' and 'deserve' us. Yes, ideally we should not stay in situations that are less than optimal for our well-being, where we are physically harmed or emotionally and mentally drained. However, more often than not, when spoken, these words have a tinge of bitterness behind them, do they not? Instead of insisting that 'they should respect us', and being angry when that 'requirement' is not met, why not accept that people can only give in a way that they are capable of? When they act rudely or selfishly, they are really only acting for their own protection, acting from their own pain, though they may not be aware of it. Nothing anyone does to you is truly personal. Everyone gives in their own capacity. Therefore, only YOU have the choice to be hurt by the difference between how you expect to be treated (which is what many people perceive 'respect' to be), and how you have actually been treated. When you encounter a situation where you are hurt, can you instead show compassion for yourself and the other person? Firstly, compassion for yourself for feeling hurt and expecting more from the other person than they can give you. Secondly, compassion for the other person that they may be hurt in a way that limits their capacity to love and give. Thirdly, forgiveness to both of you, and acceptance that what you are looking for cannot be provided for by the person, without any blame involved. With that acceptance, you have the power of choice to accept all that they can give right now with that understanding, or seek elsewhere for what you want (that's what you think you deserve). The latter option asks that you walk away with goodwill and without drama.

Another way to look at this is, are you seeking something from someone else that you think you 'need' from that person? In other words, does what you think you deserve come from a place of lack, or a place of true self-love that prioritizes your well-being as a complete human being? Are you sure you cannot provide that need for yourself (love, validation, entertainment)? Are you sure you're not asking for perfection from someone else, perfection that is not logically attainable anyway? Are you seeking unconditional acceptance from others (when you cannot extend that to them either), or expecting that others fulfill your needs in the exact way that you want? 

Finally, if you hold any negative feelings about the situation, and want to confront or hurt the other person for 'doing you wrong' to 'put them in their place', please ask yourself this: Does it really matter if the other person knows or feels sorry for hurting you? Why this tit-for-tat? Why does it matter so much to you that your 'needs' and 'feelings' are known? Does it make sense to sour the relationship? Does it make sense to hold on to these feelings of anger, righteousness, disappointment, or whatever you are feeling? 

The only questions that remain are, Are YOU willing to move on and forgive? Are YOU willing to bring love in instead? If it had touched a sore part within your heart that makes you feel hurt (which may not have anything to do with this person's actions directly, ie. Are you making him/her pay for someone else's past mistake), are you willing to be thankful for this experience which had brought this hurt to awareness for your healing? 

"Forgive them, even if they are not sorry. Because holding on to anger only hurts you, not them. And why would you want to hurt anyone anyway? It would only turn you into the very thing you don't want to be. Forgive and move on!"
~Timber Hawkeye
I am so glad I came across this quote today, it helped me put my thoughts about this topic into words.

Friday, 13 February 2015

Are you happy with your life now?

Want to revamp your life but are afraid to? Read this! ^_^

"Do you really want to live the same year 75 times and call it "life"? What if I told you that ten years from now your life would be exactly the same? Would you be happy? Would you feel fulfilled? Step outside the comfort zone. Believe in yourself. Believe in dreams. Release the excuses. Shine a light on your fears. Promise to make your life a message of passion, courage, adventure, and love."
~Creig Crippen

But at the same time, if you're going through a rough patch,
"Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge."
~ Eckhart Tolle

Don't give up =) Because...


Wednesday, 11 February 2015


"What is self-love?

It’s being gentle, compassionate, and patient with yourself. It’s trusting your intuition and honoring your own truth. It’s selecting beauty as your focus, choosing a life of love, and refusing to let others bring you down. It’s forgiving yourself, releasing regret, letting go of worry, and accepting all that has come before and all that is yet to come. It’s owning who you are, recognizing your flaws, embracing your quirks, and savoring your uniqueness. It’s investing in yourself by taking the time to nourish your mind, body, and soul. It’s believing that you deserve—and you’re capable of creating—the life you love. It’s bravely trying new things and experiencing the exquisiteness of what lies outside the comfort zone. It’s knowing with absolutely certainty that with all of your flaws, with all of your genius, you are loved, you are lovable—you are love."
~Creig Crippen

Sunday, 8 February 2015

Live your own definition of success

From A Slice of Life, a motivational series presented on 938Live, a Singaporean radio channel:

"We’ve probably, at some point(s) in our lives, compared ourselves with others and ended up feeling lousy.
Maybe we envied someone for his looks, his social skills, his position, his talents, his popularity, his car, his fame, or his body. Most of us do this without really thinking about what we’re doing, but think about how often you do it.
Consistently comparing ourselves with others is very disempowering and can erode our confidence and self-worth. This stops us from achieving all that we’re capable of in life.
This is how comparing ourselves with others can hurt us:
Firstly, when we compare ourselves with someone and it makes us feel inferior, we may feel that we should be achieving the same results. Now this sounds like a positive thing – if envy can drive us to fulfill the same goals, then why not?
Well, envy and inferiority are such powerful emotions that it can make us feel as though besides our goal, everything else is unimportant, even our loved ones, or values like honesty and integrity, even human life. Dictators and other power-hungry individuals have often been driven by envy and self-loathing to reach the pinnacle of power by all means necessary.
Envy and inferiority also cause us to blindly pursue aims that in the end, we may find we really didn’t want in the first place. Our focus had been on other people’s goals, what they’d wanted, what they’d achieved. Lost in the smog of envy, we failed to think about our own aspirations.
Think about the people you might be envying – that millionaire entrepreneur, that influential politician, that top housing agent, that up-and-coming actor, that young athlete. Deep down inside, is that what you really want to be? Would you be willing to sacrifice your own passions, values, and integrity to gain what they’ve gained? Would you be able to give up what they’d given up in order to achieve their goals? Would you really be happy if you had what they have?
When comparing ourselves with others makes us feel inadequate, we are also less likely to take action to see how much we are capable of. When we feel and think small, we’re less likely to venture out, in case we get trampled on. It’s much easier to say “I’ll never be able to do that!” than actually taking a risk and making an attempt. But we can only reach our potential by trying and taking risks and keeping at it.
If you truly want to be happy and successful, stop comparing yourself with others. Blindly chasing other people’s definitions of success can never make you happy. Think about your own definition of success. Pursue and live your own version."

What is YOUR definition of success? Not society's, not your parents', not your relatives', not your boss', not your friends', not your significant other's definition. YOURS. Are you willing to take a chance to step out and live it? =)

Saturday, 7 February 2015

Let's play a game!

Timber Hawkeye from Buddhist Boot Camp posted this today. 

"Okay, let's play a game: Fear less, hope more. Eat less, chew more. Whine less, breathe more.Talk less, say more. Hate less, love more.

The winner gets a happy life! Who wants to play?"

*raises hand* Want to join me?

Friday, 6 February 2015

When the going gets tough..

When the going gets tough, I hope this excerpt brings you solace.

"I would never trade my hardships — past, present, or future — for purely blissful encounters. These very tribulations have revealed what true happiness is. The darkest nights yield the most luminous dawns. If everything always went your way, you would be denied the precious opportunities to grow, surrender, trust, and evolve. Without fear you would never learn to be courageous. Without anger you would never learn forgiveness. Without heartbreak you would never open your heart to true love.
~ Sara Avant Stover, from The Way of the Happy Woman

Hang in there, love. Life happens for you, not to you. Every experience is a gift from Love. Every challenge or hardship is a gift to help you learn, and is presented in a timely manner. The Divine never gives a lesson without you being ready for it. The real question is, are you ready to receive it?

Big big big hug to you. You can do it! =)
Have a good weekend!

Tuesday, 3 February 2015

Take your stand toward self-love! Featuring Christine Arylo

Are you on a journey toward more self-love? Are you tired of seeking love from external sources (someone else, food, alcohol, Facebook, Instagram, addictions etc.), wondering why, despite it all, you still feel lonely and empty inside sometimes?
Here are some resources from Christine Arylo that I will/have been using that I just want to share for now. I'll keep sharing more as I get more inspiration for more writings, but I couldn't wait to post these first, because the following (free!) events are coming up really soon!

First of all, do you beat yourself up all the time? Over mistakes that you made, things that you shouldn't have said/do, things that you should have done more/faster, etc.? Do you want to speak to yourself more kindly?
Transform your inner mean girl/inner mean dude to make her/him work for you instead! Christine Arylo and Amy Ahlers are holding a free 90-minute webinar to elaborate on this topic. I'll be attending the webminar, and we can discuss any details after that too!

Secondly, Valentine's Day is coming up. Giving and receiving love from someone else you love feels really nice, but how about the most important person in your life -- YOU! Did you take the time to give love to yourself today? How about everyday? Christine Arylo declared the 13th of February Self-Love Day, and is holding an event at Long Beach:
I will be tuning in (live-streaming lasts from 7-9pm), would you like to join in too? When was the last time you had a date with yourself?

Thirdly, here is Christine's latest love spark post about how to give up negative self-talk:

Do check out her books if you're interested in knowing more about Christine Arylo, the queen of self-love (she is the star of this post today). I have benefited from her 40-day self-love Me Before We class (taught together with Christine Hassler), and I hope that you may join this adventure with me. 

=) Much love to you, my friend. It's time to really have fun!

Sunday, 1 February 2015