Monday, 8 June 2015

What is forever after?

Recently, I met a man whom I fell in love with quickly, shockingly, and passionately.  He cracked my heart open in more ways than I thought was possible, showing me what love can be like, what it means to love freely without judgement, to love with full acceptance, to love without boundaries. 
I used to think that a relationship worth pursuing is one where there is a definite future, where there will be a 'happily ever after', two people in love with each other forever and ever. I believed in the permanence of things. But after meeting him, it all changed. Due to certain circumstances, it is unlikely that this relationship will last. Does knowing this hurt? You bet it does. As much as I'm learning to let it go, it takes all my strength not to be angry at my life for showing me something so beautiful and real, only to take it away eventually. But does it make this love less real? No, it doesn't. In fact, I wouldn't want it any other way. 
I have come to learn that forever after does not rest in the possession of something that you hold dear, but in the love that you will always keep in your heart for that someone or something, no matter what happens. Things, possessions, and all things material, are fleeting. Relationships, too. Romance may change over time, waxing and waning depending on time and place. But love will always remain. Love, however short, will remain in its unique form in our hearts with its memories and well wishes. And to spend time worrying about how long something will last, is to take time away from the beauty of the moment. Who knows what will happen tomorrow, in the next hour, or even the next minute? Things change, and people change. Two people may meet at a crossroads to share a beautiful moment together, and then part to walk down their own paths again, but that experience, however brief, is still as precious as one that may last years or decades. 
And for that moment alone, without asking for anything else, I am forever blessed and thankful. Thank you, E, for everything that you have shown and taught me. Thank you for holding that precious, freeing space for me while I work through my broken-ness with you. But most of all, thank you for being you, and for us being who we are today so that we can walk down this brief road together. I love you =)

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