Monday, 17 August 2015

I don't need a prince, I want a king

When I was a little girl, I was a big fan of Disney Princess movies. Like many others, I was enarmored by the idea of a Prince Charming sweeping me off my feet, saving me from pain and hurt, protecting me from the harsh world. 

He would be strong and kind always, intelligent, witty and handsome. He would keep all his promises. He could do no wrong.
Likewise, I, as his princess, would be forever beautiful in his eyes, smart, pretty, and a good wife.
As you can tell, there was no room for error.

I had some growing up to do.
Thank goodness I did.
And thank goodness E showed me how much I've changed.

I don't need a Prince Charming to save me; I want a King to walk beside me.

I don't need someone to save me; I can save myself. 
Even if I alone cannot help myself, I can do so by accepting help from others. 
Unlike a dragon-slaying prince, my king wouldn't want to protect me from everything. Even if he did, he would do so in an empowering way, assisting me as I carve out my own path in my own way. He believes in my strength and my ability to figure things out eventually. He believes in me. 

Someone once said that, a good relationship is not one where two people gaze into each others' eyes, but one where they stand hand in hand facing the world together. 

As much as he is my warrior in arms, my king is not perfect either.
He will have his weak moments. He may crumble and fall sometimes. But that's what I am here for, as he is for me. We help each other stand back up. While he may face the need to appear infallible out in the world, he does not need to always be strong before me. We can show our weaknesses to each other, taking comfort in the knowledge that, despite the potential discomfort with realizing our unglamorous sides, we can and will be accepted and loved by the other. Even though deciding to be vulnerable can be difficult at times, we take faith, and will have that faith often renewed (if not always), in the space that is held by the other. The kind of space that is nurtured by love, patience and understanding. An understanding that none of us is perfect, and that we are both trying our best to be the best we can be. This space assures us that, even though one of us may run and hide because we feel afraid, the other person will be on the other side with arms wide open, waiting for him/her to open up again and work through our fears and insecurities together. 

"When you are king, dilly dilly, I shall be queen" (Lavender's Blue)

My king helps the queen inside me to shine. 
While we may all still have elements of a child within us -- throwing tantrums when upset at not having things go our way, or even acting in hurtful ways when hurt or afraid -- through communication I am learning to turn back from the ledge of allowing my emotions to take over in ways that may result in damaging behavior, learning to come to terms with and manage the same emotions. Through encountering his inner child I have discovered the extent of loving kindness I am capable of giving, more than I imagined I could. Through patience I remember that life is not a battle that I am fighting alone. Through acceptance I remember that life is not made of promises, past or future, but of present moments that we create and treasure. Through understanding I am able to tap into the immense well of love that I have within for him, for family, for friends and for myself. 
Through his love and in loving myself I am growing and learning. He does not require me to be anything else other than myself. I am perfectly imperfect in his eyes, and that is enough for him to love me. There is no need to prove myself to be anything, no need to achieve or do anything to be reason to be loved. I am reason enough to be loved. Through this love I am given the space to explore and create the me that I myself truly want to be. 

Through him, through us and through myself, he supports me in becoming the woman I can be. 

"When I am queen, dilly dilly, you shall be king"

And likewise, I do the same for him too. 

Love you, E. =)

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